I take my big break in small steps. Change takes time, and I have learned that if I don't give myself enough of it, things go wrong. I change pace and take the pressure out. I start my work as a DemiPair, integrate myself quickly into the new family life and don't do much else at first.
If something doesn't work, it shakes me to the core. I often feel like crawling into a hole, far away from anything or anyone. Sometimes, I find it hard to breathe, other times, my stasis makes me so nervous that I leave for long walks along the coast. When the wind blows my hair out of my face, and the sea rumbles beneath me, I stare into the turquoise impetuosity of the sea for hours. The Pacific doesn't care about time. It rises and sinks, it thunders or keeps silent, following its own drum.
In many aspects, Australia is similar to Europe, especially, if you are coming from a long trip around Asia. I have existed in cultures different from my own, for a long time. The familiarity here is disorienting. It gives me a false sense of ease. It's similar and yet fundamentally different. It takes a while for me to sort through the differences in my head. In fact, I'm in the middle of that process. It begins on the sidewalk (should I pass on the left or the right?), and ends when I meet people (do they mean what they say, or are they polite?). Most people confuse and irritate me. What I've gotten used to with the British, I experience as provoking from the Australians. It will take a while until I get it right.
In nature, many things are different than at home. I don't recognise plants or animals, and that gives me a sense of security. I am abroad. Although I speak the language and look like most people around me, I am still overseas.
Since I will stay put for now and expect to stay in Sydney for a while, this blog will change a little bit. I'll post a new blog post once a week or maybe just every two weeks. Don't worry. They will keep on coming. My focus will shift away from documenting my experiences, to earning money and finding a quiet routine. The blog will once again become a hobby, and I can imagine that that will benefit it. I'd like to spend more time writing articles, thinking more and taking bigger leaps. I want to use this, to come up for air. A big break without actually stopping. A break from the pressure, from moving on, but no break from what I enjoy, writing and taking pictures.
Thank you for reading along. As I arrive for a while, I hope I can let you in on my Australian life. Just know, that my journey isn't over yet. This is not the end, just a big travel break.
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